Caption Competition

- "Does my bum look big in this?"
- "Of course it does, you huge-arsed freak!"
- Webmaster

"We are the Cheeky Girls" - Sharron

Just after this picture was taken I experienced the joys of man-love for the first time. My chocolate whizzway stung for days but at least I now know which side I bat for. - Luke

"Luke, I promise Mossy will pick us both now" - Duane Chapman

They tried and tried but the Cheeky girls just couldn't master the YMCA - Smecky

As Luke poses he thinks to himself, "If this doesn't prove I'm not gay nothing will.........I wonder if he'll wear a ghostbuster suit and snog me???" - Elliot

Girls just wanna have fun! - loopyloo

If you can think of a witty, intelligent, light-hearted, amusing comment for this picture then please fill the form in below and as long as it's not too offensive or rubbish, I will stick it up here!

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Caption Competition Archives

Winner: Ever the inventive rent boy, Luke pulls the string on his cowboy hat and his freshly released pheromones get the Honey Monster exactly where he wants him. - Smecky

Brokeback Mountain II was an altogether much camper affair! - Webmaster

Luke was so drunk he mistook Hainsey for a 14 year old girl! - First Teamer

After having his wicked way with trying to turn a lesbian, Hainsy thought young "confused" Belton would be in touch with his gay side and go to the next level..... - Homer J

He can never call me gay again!! - Young Star

Luke & Hainsey sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G.....A-Y!!! - Gainsley's Monkey

The sign of a good kisser in luke as he tips his hat back with his hand...the same cannot be said for where Hainsey placed his! - Non-Surprised Brother

Hainsey falls for Luke's line of "I think you left your Scampi Fries in my mouth" - Rob O'Malley

Someone has obviously dressed up as Luke and snogged Hainsey. - Undisclosed

Ben beat me up the other day for calling him gay, now I know why. - Hainesy's Lil Bro

Winner: Ghandi was beginning to think the Prawn Vindaloo wasn't the best decision he'd ever made - Harpo

"If I get rid of it in here then maybe it wont follow me out on to the pitch" - Webmaster

Who would of thought that you could still be offside while sat on the toilet! - Luke

It's a good job Smecke is wearing his scarfe - that way at least we can identify his arse from his face - KK

Smecke proudly puts his ring on display - KK

Thats strange. The shit usually comes out the other end! - Luke

Winner: The once mocked farmer from the opposite field, knew that one day the giant kitchen rolls he ordered would come in handy. - Smecky

God was so fed up of watching the woeful efforts of the reserves, He decided to do something about it.... - M

The flood almost washed away the sign originally erected for Monty - Anon

Whilst Shredder had obeyed the notice of keeping off the pitch there was no such sign for no belly-flopping into the River Stour! - JR

This was the best flood defence the sports club could think of, but the water took no notice! - Luke

Shipstons new Water polo pitch is finally ready - Anon

Guess the games off then - Steve

Shredder finally let go of all that water he had been retaining around his hips - KK
PIES follows through after his Saturday night curry - Loving Brother

Nobody's told me not to do the teas for cricket - Val

Winner: According to the list, next up is a perma-tanned Gandhi-lookalike gobsh!te. - Webmaster

Czech Tonker joins in with the fines fun - Harpo

" clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right " - Sharron

With the special powers that his extra hairy arm give him, Smecky delivers the drunken judo chop. - Smecky

After losing the dance-off to his dad, Smecky was determined to win the rematch and spent every spare minute perfecting his 'piece de resistance' - the robotic moves were gonna knock 'em dead! - Smecky's Auntie

Yet again, Smecky fails the "explain how the offside rule works" quiz. - M

Winner: Cats were in short supply in Eastern Europe so Jegger had to make to with what he could get his hands on. - Smecky

Sky One are forced to pull the new series of "The Good Sex Guide" after viewer complaints about the "doggy style" demonstration. - Bob

Nev shows off his latest signing for his infamous "my dog could play better than that" squad. - Sharron

Hey Nabbsy see my new girl friend / hand bag - Tony President

Winner: Neville laughed off JR's kind offer of a handjob. - Anon

John's shorts malfunction gives Bluey the opportunity to knock one out over Belton's freaky hairless body - Webmaster

JR showed the guys how traditional pikeys dress when the play football. - Smecky

Fat, bald prick! - Bob

There was jubilation all round as the king's horses and the king's men finally managed to put Humpty back together again. - M

John showed the lads another side to his character, not only was he a pikey but he also doubled up as the "only gay in the village". - Sharron

Nev & Shred were impressed at JR's impersonation of Bob, only the ginger hair & stained Ralph Lauren jumper was missing. - JR

JR demonstrates the "Ski Sunday" technique of double-tug-jobs, perfected during his long stint as the premier rent boy in Doggers' Alley. - Harpo

Winner: Misses French and Ryszkowska wonder what forces are holding them so tightly to the pikey - is it
a) Animal Magnetism
b) Pheremones
c) Wotsits and dead skin
- Harpo

I haven't paid for these - go away! - Webmaster

I'm really disappointed...I ordered Mrs Ryszkowska and they send me her daughter by mistake - Bob

Bob's face was a picture as he realised that Roger had just vomited!!! - JR

Miss French gives us a clue as to what digit has been inserted into O'Malley's backside by the ever smiling Miss Ryszkowska. - Smecky

Bob takes first place in the largest breasts finale - Luke

Bluey looks shocked as he realises that he's not at Dogging Alley - Bob

There's something on your chin... No, not that chin. - Bob

The girls were proud of their charity work for 'Care in the Community'. - Matt

The static from Bob's ultra cheap and nasty nylon jumper attracted really nice bits of fluff. - KK

The girls struggled to hold Bob up as he reeled at the news that it was his round. - Sharron

Winner: One of them is a salty, fatty product best enjoyed with a pint of lager and the other one is a bag of crisps - KK

Mr Potatohead was gutted to discover that he'd been tucking into Aunt Petuna - Webmaster

The famous Shipston Excelsior floating wine glass trick amazed the locals - Smecky

Raggy defines his sexuality once and for all as "asexual" by producing a clone out of his armpit - P!ss

My sunglasses are no good at eliminating the sun's rays from JR's bald spot, so I'll use this giant bag of crisps to deflect them. - Bob

Monty looks away in disgust at the picture quality - Elliot

Kevs ploy to hide his 12" black vibrator with his bag of crisps hadn't worked. - Anon

Winner: They're all smiles now, but next week they're competing against each other for a spot in the best 'right said fred' tribute band. - Elliot

Smecky strongly denied that he was one of Satan's minions, but the horns and red eyes gave it away... - Anon

He was all smiles but little did Steve know that the drink he had in his hand was the one Neil had already rhohypnolled Frenchy with and he was his next victim. - Smecky

The boys from Mcfly were gutted to see the computer generated prediction of how they would look in 30 years time. - Matt

Yoda was procrastinating as to who to make as his "Luke Skywalker". - JR

His mates cheered him in on as Neil produced what must surely have been the winner in the "Gurning Competition". - Sharron

The 3 Stooges audition for a new member! - Nabbsy

Winner: While drinking with his brothers, Elliot gazed over and noticed that he had found true love in the eyes of the seated Frank Carson. - Smecky

The party after the Ginger Pride Parade was a right good laugh! - Webmaster

The gene pool in Shipston never has been very big... - P*ss

Doesn't Raggy make a weird face when he's masturbating? - Bob

Elliott was over the moon when it was announced that he had come last in the Spacedog/Monty lookalikey contest - JR

Young Haines continued his quest as to who his real father might be, by seeking the opinion of Danish legend Peter Schmeichel. - Anon again

Bashful, Dopey, Happy, Sleepy, Sneezy & Doc celebrated as it appeared that their cunning plan to leave Grumpy in the previous Caption competition shot had worked! - Sharron

Unfortunately, with such an ethnic cleansing opportunity at hand, the Hitman from the Anti-Ginger Pikey Brigade picked up his camera and not his machine gun. - KK

Monty has a double reason to celebrate; Firstly, he is the only one who has realised that there is a photo-shoot for C&A and secondly, he has managed to go the whole evening without spending any money on drink. - Anon

The tragic genetic deformation that blighted the brothers lives in the early years was forgotten as they showed off their new artificial hands. - Smecky

Winner: Delegates at the 'Bald is Beautiful' conference agree that this is the most disappointing year yet. - Anon

Neil was shocked and embarrassed that he had been caught offering the unsuspecting barmaid cash for sex again - Smecky

Who, dear? Me, dear? Gay, dear? No, dear! - Webmaster

The mirror in time also reversed shirt colours effectively. - P!ss

Ryszko and P*ss celebrate the launching of their new wesbite called www.baldieswhowearties.com - Bob

There's hardly what you would call a queue, but I still can't get served however many empties I return! - El Presidente

Is that shine from the flash coming from the bottles of liquor or neils head? - Luke

Neil couldn't hide his disappointment at the bar maid's reaction to his "While you're down there, love"! - CSS

Winner: Captain Scarlet and Joe 90 really enjoyed the 1980's cartoon reunion. - Smecky

Kevin's Beadle-esque small hand made the little china cup look massive! - Anon

That guy on the right looks really hot and sexy, I bet he can hold his drink too. I would definately do him. - Angelina Jolie (with a northern accent)

Shipston's biggest mug - pictured here holding a lovely china drinking capsule. - Anon

Is this a spot the difference? So far i've got the mug, a wedding ring and glasses. Oh and the slight difference in weight. - Luke

Is that Piss and Joseph Stalin having a conversation in the background? - Bob

OOOhhh, northern boys love gravy!!!! - Soccerette

That wasn't what I meant when I asked the bar maid to give me head! - CCS

World Ugly Tree Awards 2007. Two nominees in the "Most Branches Hit" category enjoy the after-show revelry. - P*ss

That bloke on the right is lush - I wish I'd met that Kev first. - Kev Plank's Missus