| Name | Les Hardiman |
| Date of Birth | 19/12/52 |
| Position | Chairman |
| Personal Motto | Life is like a box of chocolates...etc |
| Hero | Roy Keane |
Status: Married to Michelle (cross between Mary Magdalene and Louise out of Eternal)
Occupation: Property Developer
Most likely to say: Anyone seen Pancho?
Favourite Band/Singer: Girls Aloud / Justin Logpond / Theme from The Godfather
Favourite Footballing Moment: Roy Keane's tackle on Alfie Inge Haaland of Man City.
Interesting Fact: Les has recently fallen into bad company with the ex Chairman and now President Tony Lowes. Together they went to see Real Madrid play at the Bernabeu but after visiting a number of drinking dens in Madrid ended up at Getafe. After the game they were seen on the Metro with an Ossuna flag amongst all the local Getafe supporters singing there’s only one Real Madrid. The locals were somewhat amused and bemused and put them down as intoxicated and somewhat eccentric Englishmen.
The Interview
Thank you for giving us a few minutes of your time, Les
Ok but remember everything I do, I do quickly, so make this snappy, time is money.
When you say you do everything quickly, do you really mean everything?
Yes, just ask the wife
Ok back to club matters, what state do you feel your club is in at the moment?
Pretty good really, obviously the committee meetings are a lot more sober since the old Chairman left.
Agreed, and how do you feel the team managers are doing?
As far as Pancho is concerned it probably is not fair for me to pass judgement, as I have not seen him very much this season. The first’s have experienced some player changes but I think this will work out to the good during the course of the season.
Monty seems to be doing ok and there is obviously a good team spirit amongst the stiffs. Just a gentle reminder to Monty that I am available to play, and that his team selection has no bearing on my decisions as Chairman!.
That’s good to hear, Les, but has there been a time when you felt that a particular Manager and the club might go in different directions?
Well, obviously Panch is often in a different direction, if not country. Once Monty sorts out his team selection I am sure he will have nothing to fear.
A Bit Like Alan Pardew?
Exactly
I've heard a rumour that you are a bit of a dancing queen at the discotheque?
Really? Anyone that is prepared to call me a queen within hearing distance of myself will be in need of urgent medical assistance and a long term liking for hospital food.
Yes, I can see that. You did have a bit of a reputation as a hard man, Mr Hardiman.
What do you mean ‘did have’?
Ouch, I take your point!*!* Les back to the club, tell me is it the local council that owns the playing pitches and the clubhouse?
What’s your point?
Les, no offence meant, but there was a rumour that a hot shot property developer was trying to sell off all the assets of the club, which they clearly don’t own, and scarper off to Spain.
Firstly the UK authorities have very good extradition arrangements with Spain nowadays, as my good friend Kenneth Noye, will testify too. Secondly those same extradition treaties do not exist within the Czech Republic and lastly I suggest you speak to Tony directly on this one.
How long do you see your tenure at the club as Chairman?
Once I have bought the land to the left and right of Max’s field, developed some luxury water front properties, then it might be time to move on.
And is Max willing to sell his land?
I will make him an offer he can't refuse.
Right, OK, but isn't the land to the left of Max’s field where we play football?
Really? (leans back in chair and cracks knuckles)
Possibly my mistake, well anyway, it's been a pleasure, thanks for your time.
Leave me now, send in my concierge.
Any suggestion that this interview never took place and has been constructed from the unhinged mind of El Presidente is not at all inaccurate.