| Name | Matthew J Pratt |
| Date of Birth | 11/09/83 |
| Position | Midfield |
| Personal Motto | Age is only a number |
| Hero | Roger Hunt |
Status: Single (that's right ladies!)
Occupation: Bar Steward
Most likely to say: Oi! Don't be slack.
Favourite Band/Singer: New Kids on the Block - Donnie's dreamy
Favourite Footballing Moment: Tottenham winning 2 games in a row, happy days.
Interesting Fact: Matthew was top of his class at school, until finger painting was taken off the syllabus.
The Interview
Thank you for giving us a few minutes of your time, Matthew
Good Evening.
How do you see the current situation on Saturdays and Sundays at the Football Club?
Splendid.
Mark Reynolds is something of a father figure to you, is that right?
He's taught me everything I know about being the midfield engine for the side.
OK. Do you feel the team has seen the best of you so far this season?
With the influx of talented foreigners into the side, I've struggled to hold down a regular starting birth this season.
That, and turning up late has hampered you, you feel?
Indeed.
What of the rumours that you started to date the ex-Chairman's daughter in the hope of heaping extra pressure on the 1st team manager?
As I stated at the time, I was fully committed to our relationship for all the right reasons and only ducked out when I noticed my performances were suffering.
On the pitch?
No, in the bar.
Finally, what do you say to those people who have said that you're a very talented footballer but your lazy tubby dwarf persona is holding you back?
Well those f****** can f****** kiss my c****** a***, f****** w**** d****** m****-f******....(Chunters off into the distance)