| Name | Neil Harper |
| Date of Birth | 10/03/73 |
| Position | Manager/Defence |
| Personal Motto | They're all pink on the inside |
| Hero | Ian Botham |
Status: Married to the lovely Donna
Occupation: Factory Floor Engineer in no-mans land between the Management and the Scum
Most likely to say: I'm fed up with everything, leave me alone
Favourite Band/Singer: Early 90's lyricless cheesey dance and The Cheeky Girls
Favourite Footballing Moment: Being old enough to remember Villa winning something
Interesting Fact: Neil isn't as grumpy as he would at first appear.
The Interview
Thank you for giving us a few minutes of your time, Neil.
No problem, take as long as you need, the missus thinks I'm doing overtime.
OK. You've just embarked on your second season at the helm of The Reserves, what are your goals for the coming months?
Really I'm looking for a steady mid-table finish in this higher division and hopefully another good cup run whilest blooding some youngsters for the riggers of the 1st Team.
Do you feel the pressure's on after last year?
Certainly expectations on the side are high and we've got a strong squad again this year.
I meant pressure to get your missus up the stick after your good friend and confident, Stephen Hedderman, managed to fire one out?
Just stick to the football.
Righto. A new signing from way up north proved a big hit in the bottom division last year, do you think he can keep it up at the higher level?
Well KK was a rough unpolished youngster when he came to us but we managed to knock the edges off and put him under the wing of a mentor and he came along in leaps and bounds.
And who was this Mentor?
Gareth Williams - he's passed some of his experience and wisdom onto young Kelly.
Despite your wife being a bit of a stunner, I hear that you have a thing for rough old boilers - Cat from Eastenders, Theresa May etc?
It's called a private life for a reason.
Moving swiftly on then, it has been brought to my attention that you look like a multitude of famous people, any comment?
I can't see it myself.
No? How about Danny Murphy?
No, nothing like him.
Danny Mills?
No.
Marty Feldman.
Look, just stop it.
Michael Stipe? Tom Hanks in Philidelphia?
I've had enough of this.
Ross Kemp? Pierre Luigi Collina? Nosferatu? Claus (or Bruno) from Top Secret?
I'm fed up with everything, just leave me alone.
O.K. thank you for sharing your time with us.
