Below are the results of the various surveys that have been placed on the website over the last fifteen years or so. If you have a suggestion for a survey then please let me know.
| Question | Which of these best describes Kev Kelly? |
| No of Responses | 56 |
| Results: | |
| Slightly Tubby Northerner | 53% |
| Witty and Intelligent | 42% |
| An Aquired Taste | 5% |
| Question | Which of the players is longest in the showers? |
| No of Responses | 30 |
| Results: | |
| Tom Cox | 47% |
| Matthew Pratt | 23% |
| Tom Billing | 20% |
| Nick Coe | 7% |
| Andrew Righton | 3% |
| Question | Which of the following does ex-RTM, Neil Harper, look like the most? |
| No of Responses | 42 |
| Results: | |
| Marty Feldman | 17% |
| Danny Murphy | 17% |
| Nosferatu | 14% |
| Iain Dowie | 14% |
| Jim Brennan | 14% |
| Danny Mills | 12% |
| Pierre Luigi Collina | 8% |
| Sander Westervelt | 4% |
| Question | How much of a man-slag is Luke Belton? |
| No of Responses | 52 |
| Results: | |
| Coxy-stylee | 41% |
| In danger of it falling off | 34% |
| Slightly Tarnished | 14% |
| Pure and Innocent | 11% |
| Question | Who will be the first Managerial Casualty of the season? |
| No of Responses | 45 |
| Results: | |
| Andrew Righton | 67% |
| Chris Coleman | 14% |
| Arsene Wenger | 9% |
| Rafa Benitez | 6% |
| Neil Warnock | 4% |
| Question | Who is the biggest Pikey? |
| No of Responses | 1479 |
| Results: | |
| John Ryszkowski | 48% |
| Stephen Hedderman | 25% |
| Bob O'Malley | 24% |
| Matthew Pratt | 2% |
| Kevin Kelly | 1% |
| Nick Coe | 0% |
NB: Results at Midnight Sunday stood as follows:
| Question | Who is the biggest Pikey? |
| No of Responses | 1145 |
| Results: | |
| Bob O'Malley | 38% |
| Stephen Hedderman | 35% |
| John Ryszkowski | 24% |
| Matthew Pratt | 2% |
| Kevin Kelly | 1% |
| Nick Coe | 0% |
| Question | Who will finish top scorer for the Reserves this season? |
| No of Responses | 111 |
| Results: | |
| Ben Semke | 29% |
| Gareth Williams | 26% |
| Kevin Kelly | 18% |
| Simon Plank | 15% |
| Lee Latchford Evans | 12% |
| Question | Who most resembles a yeti in the showers? |
| No of Responses | 72 |
| Results: | |
| Tom Billing | 37% |
| Adam Millership | 23% |
| Chris French | 20% |
| Andrew Miles | 11% |
| Kevin Kelly | 9% |
| Question | Will Kevin Kelly disgrace himself during his birthday celebrations? |
| No of Responses | 30 |
| Results: | |
| Yes - All over Neil's Face | 37% |
| Yes - All over his bathroom | 33% |
| Yes - All over Coxy | 10% |
| Yes - All over the floor | 10% |
| Of course not | 10% |
| Question | Which Player is oldest before their time? (Real ages shown) |
| No of Responses | 49 |
| Results: | |
| Ben Semke - 19 | 48% |
| Andrew Miles - 21 | 16% |
| Tom Billing - 29 | 16% |
| Neil Harper - 34 | 7% |
| Kev Kelly - 35 | 7% |
| Ben Haines - 20 | 4% |
| Kevin Plank - 31 | 2% |
| Question | Which series of Blackadder was the funniest? |
| No of Responses | 36 |
| Results: | |
| Blackadder II | 33% |
| Blackadder Goes Forth | 27% |
| Blackadder the Third | 27% |
| The Blackadder | 13% |
| Question | Which destination would you prefer for the next football tour? |
| No of Responses | 42 |
| Results: | |
| Eastern Europe - City | 55% |
| El Presidente's Estonian Pad | 14% |
| Hot Holiday Island | 14% |
| Western Europe - City | 7% |
| UK Coast | 4% |
| Eastern Europe - Beach Resort | 4% |
| Western Europe - BEach Resort | 2% |
| Question | Was JR's goal on the last tour a fluke? |
| No of Responses | 181 |
| Results: | |
| No | 51% |
| Yes | 49% |
| Question | What should happen to Andrew Miles on tour as it's also his stag do? |
| No of Responses | 61 |
| Results: | |
| Shave things into his Chimp-like body | 32% |
| Enlist him in the Czech Army | 22% |
| Tell Customs that he was born in Lebanon and has been walking funny | 19% |
| Get him a male stripper | 15% |
| Chain him naked to someone | 8% |
| Get him a female stripper | 3% |
| Chain him naked to something | 1% |
| Question | How will the Brno Tour be remembered? |
| No of Responses | 58 |
| Results: | |
| "He's a bad Christian, he's a bad Christian" | 56% |
| Raggy being gay | 26% |
| Arm Wrestling | 8% |
| Billing in the fountain | 5% |
| Local Tonker | 5% |
| McDonalds | 0% |
| Question | Who will win the Champions League Final? |
| No of Responses | 35 |
| Results: | |
| AC Milan | 63% |
| A N Other | 37% |
| Question | Which body part freaks you out the most? |
| No of Responses | 88 |
| Results: | |
| Luke's huge ass | 32% |
| Neil's face | 28% |
| Bob's extra long ginger chest hair | 26% |
| Elliot's new hair cut | 8% |
| Cox's baby's arm | 6% |
| Question | Who is "the one in the dugout"? |
| No of Responses | 41 |
| Results: | |
| Steve Edwards | 29% |
| Michael Leslie Hardiman | 22% |
| Gill Hill | 20% |
| Trosh | 20% |
| El Presidente | 5% |
| Andy Nabbs | 4% |
| Question | Who will win the Premier League this season? |
| No of Responses | 150 |
| Results: | |
| Chelsea | 42% |
| Manchester United | 22% |
| Liverpool | 21% |
| Arsenal | 6% |
| Other | 6% |
| Tottenham Hotspur | 3% |
| Question | What should the theme be for the New Years Eve Party? |
| No of Responses | 91 |
| Results: | |
| St Trinians | 36% |
| Heros and Villains | 36% |
| Famous Pikeys | 10% |
| No Theme | 8% |
| Vicars and Tarts | 6% |
| Historical Figures | 3% |
| Fairytales and Fantasy | 1% |
| Question | Which Shipstonite is this? |
| No of Responses | 138 |
| Results: | |
| Robert O'Malley | 49% |
| Ben Haines | 36% |
| Stephen Hedderman | 7% |
| Pancho | 3% |
| Ringo | 3% |
| Kevin Kelly | 2% |
| Question | If I set up a players' blog, would anyone use it? |
| No of Responses | 65 |
| Results: | |
| Yes | 43% |
| Couldn't give a flying etc | 33% |
| No | 24% |
| Question | Did Hainsey play better on Saturday when he was hungover and ruined or on Sunday when he was sober? |
| No of Responses | 33 |
| Results: | |
| Both like man with no legs | 70% |
| Saturday | 21% |
| Both World Class Displays | 9% |
| Sunday | 0% |
| Question | What is likely to happen at the Dinner on Friday? |
| No of Responses | 30 |
| Results: | |
| Monty will take 500 photos | 43% |
| All of the above | 23% |
| Someone will miss the last bus and end up walking home | 14% |
| A WAG will end up naked | 14% |
| A player(s) will end up naked | 3% |
| Andy Nabbs will end up naked | 3% |
| Everything will run smoothly and it will be very dignified | 0% |
| Question | Should we have a WAG's section on the webpage? |
| No of Responses | 75 |
| Results: | |
| Yes - if it's bikini shots only | 54% |
| No - it would need constant updating | 13% |
| Yes - if we can use Monty's photos | 13% |
| Yes - if it's tasteful | 11% |
| No - girls are smelly | 9% |
| Question | What was the greatest achievement this season? |
| No of Responses | 63 |
| Results: | |
| Raggy's 11 own goals | 60% |
| Reserves highest league position for years | 10% |
| First Team's highest ever league position | 8% |
| Hainsey turning into a love-god after 8 pints | 8% |
| Establishment of the Colts | 7% |
| Sunday Side getting a team out every week | 4% |
| Luke only getting sent off once | 3% |