Below is a timeline of important events that occurred on tour that give the reader a brief overview of the jolly time had by all:
Friday 3rd June 2005
6:00am - The tourists arrive at The White Bear for a full English and full Dutch (Carlsberg)
7:15am - Tour Shirts are handed out. Hedderman is mostly blamed for any crap nicknames. Noted that Hedderman's and Gavin's shirts are the same size!
7:35am - The bus is boarded and the tour leaves Shipston
7:36am - Gavin and Smeke are annoying each other
12:30pm - The ferry is boarded and the tourists head for the bar to chat up Stella
4:30pm - The first experience of continental food as the bus stops at a McDonalds
7:00pm - Arrival in Amsterdam, disembark bus
7:30pm - Arrival at 'Hotel'
7:33pm - Muttered comments about Colditz
8:30pm - The Tourists hit the town
8:45pm - The Tourists find a bar, an Irish bar with a dwaff
8:55pm - Kev Kelly begins his marathon pool streak
11:13pm - Paul Jewett becomes the first guy to chunder on tour
11:55pm - Sacha has a €50 note plucked off her face by a dancer using just her 'lips' in The Banana Bar
Saturday 4th June 2005
12:30am - Douglas Bader gets carried back to the 'Hotel'
2:23am - Steve Edwards falls out of bed
2:38am - John 'Colt Seevers' Ryszkowski does a somersault from the top bunk
2:29am - Kev Kelly nearly dies laughing
2:43am - Nick Coe falls out of bed
2:45am - Luke Belton celebrates his 18th birthday in style by nailing a bed
2:46am - Virgin lives up to his nickname
4:00am - Smeke gets barred from the 'Hotel' Bar due to excessive nakedness
4:15am - Neil Harper threatens to kill Gavin just with his stare
8:15am - Alarm call by the chairman
9:00am - Back on bus for drive to football tournament
10:30am - Smeke decides our football isn't continental enough for him and defects to a Dutch side
11:30am - Shipston win their first game 2 - 0
12:15pm - Danny 'I didn't touch him' Lowes up-ends Marc Overmars who breaks his collarbone when he lands
12:30pm - Shipston draw their second game 1 - 1
1:30pm - Shipston win their third game 4 - 0 and make it through to the final
2:00pm - Shipston start the final
2:14pm - Rob O'Malley has to wash Roger in a sink
2:29pm - Luke Belton headbutts an opponents elbow leaving him with a very large gash across his eyebrow
2:35pm - Shipston lose the final 1 - 0
4:30pm - Luke returns to the bar with six stitches and a bandage the size of Shredder's pants wrapped round his head
7:15pm - Arrive back at 'Hotel'
8:30pm - After hours of preparation, fines are dealt out to the group
9:00pm - Argentinian Steakhouse, great onion rings
11:15pm - Roy loses the use of his legs and his steak
11:55pm - Ralph buys a kebab
Sunday 5th June 2005
12:15am - Kev Kelly is overcome by brilliant side-streets
8:00am - Alarm call by Nabbsy
9:15am - Back on bus for drive to football tournament
10:45am - Arrive late at tournament
10:47am - Discover a distinct lack of players getting changed
11:00am - Shipston get the first of many whollopings
3:23pm - John Ryszkowski scores Shipston's only goal of the day. The resulting celebration gets most of the team booked
4:45pm - Chris French gets up to accept the covetted 7th place trophy
7:30pm - A menagerie of pizzas are found. Adam has pasta
9:30pm - A round of complimentary Grappas are thrown in by the restaurent. Tastes like nothing on Earth
10:21pm - Stephen 'Marley' Hedderman seems excessively giggley after spending 2 hours in a 'cafe' drinking beer!
11:15pm - John Ryszkowski starts a blood thirsty fight in a bar in the red light district between two huge black fellas by tapping one of them on the shoulder
Monday 6th June 2005
1:49am - Stephen Hedderman pebble-dashes the bathroom (and bathroom door and floor outside bathroom) in quite spectacular fashion
7:15am - All the ladyboys who chose to fly back get up and leave
8:30am - Alarm call for everyone else
9:30am - Back on bus for trip home
12:15pm - Kev Kelly sends four hundred text messages stating 'Brilliant'
4:00pm - Get on ferry at Calais, Coxy tries to chat up some school girls
5:15pm - Back on Terra Anglais
8:00pm - A bedraggled bunch arrive back in Shipston